where's the conviction?

coach called me almost 5 times today. he analysed what he thought about me, and he said he thinks i've given up on myself. all the way, 22 good flights and suddenly the past 7 flights i only had 1 good flight. to him, i had rolled over and stopped fighting.

in fact, i'm a little lost. i especially hate the situation when i'm trying all ways and means but nothing's coming out of it. it seems that i cant get the energy out?

coach asked if i'm feeling homesick. yes i am, but i can't answer that. come on, we all know this career requires me to be away from home for long periods of time. if, as a trainee, being away from my family for 8 months can cause my training to deteriorate, it could possibly be a convenient excuse to sack me just like that.

i'm worried, and i want to continue fighting for survival. i was the best, and now because of this setback, i am probably going to be the slowest in my progression. i don't care, as long as i can graduate at the end of the day.

god, please show me the way, because i believe.